So one day back in 2004, a 50 foot 60 ton sperm whale washed up on a beach in Taiwan and died. Within minutes of the poor guy taking his last breath and without checking for his organ donor card or notifying his next of kin, these Taiwanese researchers had put harnesses on him that were attached to three cranes and over the next 13 hours, had lifted his big ass up onto a tractor trailer. Not to mention, it took 50 workers to get the job done. Now, the sperm whale is lying there thinking,
“Why don’t you bastards let me lie here and be dead, for crying out loud! I mean, at least, let me start to rot a little, I don’t even stink yet!”.
Right about that time the truck started rolling through the streets of Taiwan, the sperm whale becomes really pissed and starts to plot his revenge. He conjures up a plan and begans to squeeze his butt cheeks together extremely tight until gases inside of him build up to critical levels. By now pedestrians have started to line the streets of the town, in order to steal a glimpse of the huge spectacle. Witnesses say they heard a deafening, but audible noise that came from the direction of the whale that sounded like,”BIT C H E E E E E S SSSS”….. KA B O O O MMM!!!! His fat ass exploded, spewing guts onto the street and over the cars and pedestrians -the funk ought to be damned!! Although, the sperm whale had gotten his sweet revenge, the shop owners and residents put on masks, cleaned up the mess and continued taking the whale to the research center like what had just occurred was normal and customary.
